


Kylo Ren X Reader: Only Everyone Can Judge Me

by KyloSupremeImagines



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Agression, Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Fear of Death, Fear of loss, Injury, Lightsaber Battles, Major character death - Freeform, Manipulation, Mental Abuse, Moral Dilemmas, Nightmares, Other, Panic, Panic Attack, Physical Abuse, Scars, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sith, Temptation, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, Violence, losing consciousness, serious injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 05:30:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17037557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloSupremeImagines/pseuds/KyloSupremeImagines
Summary: As Luke refuses to continue your training when you find him on Ahch-To, you come to feel the same betrayal and abandonment Ben - now Kylo Ren - did years ago. You struggle between the light and dark as you soon discover that you are of sith blood, which attracts the attention of Snoke once more. Now that you have followed in Kylo’s foot steps, you must come to realize what you really want with your life. Will you let yourself be completely consumed by the darkness, or will there finally be a balance in the force?





	1. Chapter 1

You looked Luke in the eyes for the first time in ages, sensing the same guilt that you had seen the last time you were together, right before he went missing. “Why can’t I train with you again?” you came to ask him, confusion evident upon your facial expression. “I thought that after all these years, that maybe you would have wan-“ you continued, but he raised his hand to interrupt you.

“After all that’s happened,” he began to tell you but paused for a moment with a deep sigh. “I’m not so sure that I’m ready to teach to such extremes just yet,” the guilt wasn’t just in his face, but it was in his tone of voice as well. “I’m sorry, but it’ll have to wait.”

“Why are you so willing to train Rey?” You inquired from him, tensing up. “she’s never learned anything a day in her life! It has to be more difficult to start someone’s training than to pick up where you left off!” you ran a hand through your loose locks to move some out of your face, allowing yourself to piercingly gaze into his eyes.

“Restrain your anger,” He remained calm behind your angering presence. “you and I both know that she needs this push to unlock her inner powers,” you were quiet for a moment. You knew that he wasn’t wrong, but what led him to decide that it was best to train her alone? “I will be able to focus more, one on one.”

“That doesn’t explain why I can’t be here too,” you claimed. “you once taught dozens, so you should be able to handle it!”

“The only difference was that I had help back then by the remaining masters from the old Jedi Order. And I wasn’t gone for years on end. You have to understa-“

“There isn’t anything to understand!”

“Don’t speak to your master that way!” you could feel his heightening annoyance, yet, he was able to contain his anger and disappointment towards you. It didn’t take much effort to know that he disapproved of you and all that you thought.

“You can’t call yourself a master when you won’t teach your own student!” you barked out at him, tightening your fist at your side. “a teacher wouldn’t abandon his pupil! Not now, not ten years ago!” you never forgave him for leaving you and the others as he had. Sure, there wasn’t a lot left for him, but he still vanished without warning. He threw you away like you didn’t even matter. Like he had failed. _He only failed the moment you were abandoned_.

“You, get off this island,” Luke warned you. Your eyes widened at his demand, and you stared at him for a moment. “you always failed at keeping your emotions at ease, and that is part of the reason I can not teach you right now.”

“I’m not surprised when my teacher screwed me over!”

“Leave, now!”

“Fine!” I screamed. In an outburst of anger, I extended my hand and threw him back with such force, watching him be flung into the ocean behind him. For only a moment, you felt a rush in your veins, failing to feel a sense of culpability. You sensed a presence behind you,  to find Rey, wide-eyed and lips pursed, almost out of terror. “have fun with your new master. He’s bound to disappoint you.”

As you walked past her, she stopped you with a rather forceful grip on your shoulder. Your head swung in her direction, revealing your ear stained eyes as you tried your best to hold back ferocity. “Why would you do that?!” She let go of you after you pushed her away. She ran over to the side of the mountain but you restrained her with the force, your hand extended in a fist.

“Don’t think that you’re stronger than me. Because you will never be,” you claimed. For a moment, you choked her, before releasing her from the force grip. She fell to the ground and she looked up at you, a hint of disappointment and anger in her eyes. You turned on your heel and dashed for your ship. Upon entering the small vessel, you went to the cockpit and turned on the engines.

You watched out the front windows to see Rey helping Luke up the mountain to catch eye contact with him. You could see betrayal in him as if you had done him wrong. He shook his head as you took off in the ship, putting full speed on it. Once in space, you set on autopilot mode to let yourself drift off. You sat down in be pilots chair and spun it around to face the back of the pit, and grabbed onto your hair and screamed, letting out the boiling anger that you had building inside for ages.

As you felt your heart race in the middle of your chest, you looked up from your feet and stood up suddenly. You hurried to your quarters and took out your old lightsabers wrapped in a grey cloth. You sat down on the bed and held the sabers tight in your hands before unfolding the cloth to reveal the weapon.

_Rey_. You repeated her name in your thoughts a few time as you sat at the edge of the bed in your living quarters on starshipship.  _Why does he see more potential in you?_  It infuriated to know that he was quite more invested in her - a girl who had never had training in her life. But you? You had already been known as his pupil during the resurrected Jedi Order, only to be left in the dark when he went off in a self-exile. _It’s just doesn’t make any sense_. You told yourself. _It’s not fair!_

You looked down at one of the twin lightsabers, thumb stroking against the silver metal as you thought. He’s lost faith in me. It had to be the only explanation. What else would it be? _He obviously sees more in her than he does of me_. You could feel the power of the force inside of her. How strong it was. Your grip around the saber hilt tightened as you pondered on, the envy building up inside of your heart. He was well aware of what you were capable of, and it enraged you to contemplate that there was even a chance that he viewed her to be more valuable.

_He probably doesn’t approve of your emotions, either._  He was always one for tranquility, and had his students make sure that their emotions didn’t get the better of them. You were known to get a little extreme with yours every so often, and he treated it like it was the end of the galaxy. But it wasn’t. It was far from it.

You stood up and ignited one of your twin sabers, seeing the blue blade as you held it out. With a quick breath, you brought it up over you head and threw it at the wall, cutting into a tapestry that hung from it. You took out the other and stabbed it into the center of the bed. “Why did you have to fail me?!” you huffed out and pulled it through the metal, swinging it back when it reached the edge. You breathed heavily and observed what you did, frowning at the actions.

Nonetheless, you acrimony was still fuming. You could feel your hand sweating against the cold metal as you squeezed against it. Screaming out, you slashed at the wall and ceased to stop, tears falling from your eyes. You could feel the utter disdain in your heart as your emotions seemed to overtake your actions. You forced myself to stop and let your saber die. Panting, you glanced down at the hilt and frowned. “I am no Jedi.”


	2. Gateway to the Empire

Not only did your own master fail you, but the only thing you had known did you no good. As you were with the resistance, Leia had made it an order for you to restrain from using a lightsaber when you could, stripping you down to simple blasters. All at the orders of Luke. He never explained to you why, and Leia had always kept it a secret, saying it was for what was best for you. But was it really? To you, it was anything but.

Over time, you had been able to convince  Leia to allow you to wield your sabers again. You were advised to hold back on your power as you used them, at at least you could agree to that. However, when you were solo, you ceased to hold back. All thought you were never ruthless, you weren’t hesitant to strike down enemies whereas others of the resistance might.

Seeing the rebellion as it was - crumbling as the days went by - it should have been vital to have a Jedi on their side, even though they hadn’t completely full training. Luke had been gone, missing in action, hence he was utterly invaluable to the fight. It was as if they disapproved of your skills. Over time, you had grown to have a resentment of both for such things.

Your eyes went cold as you saw the base growing close after entered the planet’s atmosphere. What little there was left of it, at least. Getting a confirmation to land from the base, you slowly put ease on the ship to land it in a clear landing pad. You let out a heavy sigh and allowed the engine to die before going into the small quarters to grab what little things you had on board. You opened the hatch doors and slammed on the button to close it after stepping off the platform.

“General Organa wishes to speak with you as soon as convenient for you,” a pilot informed you as you walked past him. You adjusted the bag on your shoulder and looked at him, staring into his icy blue eyes. For a moment, he looked taken aback, as if he was startled. “she told me to say that it’s urgent.”

You simply nodded in acknowledgment and turned from him. With a small pit forming in the middle of you, you made my way for her. You stopped only feet behind her. “I thought that you would be on Ahch-To with Rey and Luke right now,” she said as she turned to face you. “how come you’ve returned?”  
“He refused,” you stated in a low but distinguished voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Luke. He refuses to train me again. Says that it has to wait until later,” you made no effort to hide the disappointment from your tone. You weren’t afraid to admit it, instead, you wanted to make it openly known to her. You wanted to make her feel guilty. “he’s just leaving me behind again,” you squeezed your twitching thumb as you kept your eyes locked on hers.

She put her hands up in a faithful attempt to calm you. “I know you’re upset, but he must have had his reasons,” she insisted. You could see the tension in her expression. You could sense it too. She was scared. “he wouldn’t have done it without one.”  
  
“You mean just like he did ten years ago?”  
  
“We both know that he was distraught over what happened.”

“Then why didn’t he try to protect the only thing he had left from what he had built?!” you vociferate. If there was one thing that you could never forgive above anything else, it was his abandonment of you. You could remember it clear as day, being left with his sister as he told you he wanted some time for himself. He said he would be back, but he vanished instead.

You were stuck with the resistance for ten years, putting your training to an unexpected haul. Leia would never tell you why, and you always knew she was well aware of his reasoning for leaving. Was she trying to protect you from something? You never found out. Had you felt betrayed? Immensely.  
“He left me here with you and told you to keep an eye on me. And for what? To stop me from growing stronger?”

“That wasn’t it at all.”

“Then tell me. What was it? You might as well come clean now.”

She looked down at the floor in a moment of contemplation. She soon glanced back up with regret in her eyes. “He was always known you were strong with the force,” she admitted. “but he had to be careful knowing your bloodline. There are things you never knew about your family and he wanted to keep it that way. I honestly believe that it’s because he doesn’t want to risk what happened with Ben, to repeat itself.”

Your eyes went wide. “What do you mean?” you demanded to know. “there’s nothing special about my family.”

“You’re wrong,” she shook her head. “I know that you’re aware of my family. That I’m the daughter of Darth Vader - making Ben the grandson of a once powerful Sith.

“I’m of Sith blood?”

“Luke knew that you had Sith blood within you. He could feel it the moment your mother brought you to him,” You looked to the side in contemplation. You had always thought it was just you and your mother, but you never tried to learn about your ancestors. “it isn’t that he didn’t want you to learn. It’s just that he’s never been confident that he could help you control your emotions. Seeing how much strength you had, it scared him.”

“That doesn’t mean he had to leave me again! He should be teaching me!”

“Calm down. There’s no use getting angry now. You have to understand.”

“No, you’re wrong. There isn’t anything to understand. There never has been!” you barked at her, feeling your fist tighten at your side. I reached for your lightsaber at your waist. Holding a strong grip on the lightsaber hilt, you ignited the blue blade and stared her down sharply. “I’m done with your lies, general,” you warned Leia, her eyes going wide at the sight. “I’m done with the betrayal. I’m done with the Resistance.”

`“You don’t have to do thi-“ she began, but was interrupted but the sound of the base alarms. You could sense a dark presence as it came into orbit. The First Order. You looked at the general and brought your hand out, pulling her into a choke. You pushed her back and knocked her out before dashing out of the private room. A guard caught your eyes and looked into the room.

“Don’t let them escape!” He said from behind you. “get a medical droid. Now!” He called his orders through his communications channel. As you ran through the halls, you stashed away at those you once called allies, unphased as you watched each fall to the ground, lifeless.

You dropped the bag from your shoulder and ran as quickly as your legs would take you. With all that you could give, I fought back against workers and pilots of the base until you made it outside in a hurry. You observed the sky to see first order ships as they began to land just on the outskirts of the base. Crap. You knew you couldn’t get to your ship in time, so you had to resort to the secret vessel you had in the woods In case of an emergency.

You laced through the crowd of resistance members getting ready for the attack but was stopped when a small group of them held you at gunpoint. “You’re not going anywhere,” the commander told you. You glared at him and frowned. Swinging your lightsaber over your head, you countered their bolts to strike back at them. You held your hand out to send a pulse of force to knock down the group.

You continued on and countered blasts aimed at you, hitting a few of them along the way. You stopped at the edge of the forest and turned to look at the base, and the oncoming stormtroopers. You observed as they descended the ship ramps and froze when a familiar face came into view. “Ben…” you muttered to yourself under your breath. He looked around before making eye contact with you from the other side of the base. I could sense his shock as if he had seen a ghost. After all, you were just a ghost of his past. He pointed in your directions and his troopers seemed to run for you.


	3. The Same As I

_“Aren’t you scared of me?” A thirteen-year-old Ben Solo inquired from you as his dark eyes observed your (E/C) eyes. You sat cross-legged from him and ran a hand through your hair. “everyone else is.”_

_“Why would I be?” You questioned him, curious._

_“Because of my grandfather. He was a sith and everyone hates me for it.”_

_“Then they are all stupid!” You claimed as you leaned in close to him. “it’s not right for them to judge you because of your grandfather. You’re your own person. And I can sense that you’re good!” You offered him a smile._

_With a small one, he returned the gesture as the corners of his lips curled up. “they don’t see me the same way. They think they I’m evil like he is. But I’m not. I only want to make friends, but none of them will talk to me. Many even refuse to train with me.”_

_“Then I’ll be your friend.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah!” You nodded and jumped forward at him, pulling him into a hug. “You don’t deserve to be lonely. You have to be loved, even if it’s by a friend,” after a few moments, he found it in him to hug you back._

_“Thank you, friend…”_

Without hesitation, you turned on your heels and made a break for it into the woods. You jumped over branches and dodged trees in your path. Lightsaber still in hand, you kept your breathing steady as you ran.

You stopped next to a tree and leaned up against it to catch your breath. You hadn’t depleted your energy. No. You were mentally exhausted after seeing your childhood friend in the flesh yet again. In all your years with the resistance, not once had you met him in battle. Even with all that you heard of him.

You hadn’t seen him for almost ten years. How were you supposed to face him again? What would it be like? When he escaped from the Order, you were best friends. But you weren’t willing to follow what he had been directed towards by Snoke. You knew it pained him too much to hurt you because he let you live. To escape.

You could still remember the pain in his eyes as his met with yours. They had conflict in them. As if one part of him knew what he was doing was wrong, but the other half wouldn’t let him get away from it all. Let the past die. He told you. As if he wanted you to abandon all of it so you wouldn’t end with the same fate as the others. Death.

You went to continue running after you snapped out of your thought, but you came face to face with none other than him. Ben. He held his hand close to you and constricted your muscles. You couldn’t move any part of your lower body, anything below the neck. “It’s been a while, Ren,” You greeted him as you knew he would want. He was no Solo any longer. You cracked a half smile. “nice to see you again-“ You choked.

“Indeed it is,” he responded. He walked around you as if he was observing you. Observing your thoughts and emotions. “what has become of you?” He came to wonder, continuing to circle around you. “I don’t need to search your mind to sense the anger in you,” You watched him at the corner of your eyes, not expecting to see that he was not armed. His lightsaber was still attached to his belt.

“Why does that matter to you?”

“Because it surprises me,” he openly admitted, standing in front of you, only inches apart. “it is not the Jedi way to embrace such emotions that I know well,” he let out a small laugh of amusement. “I thought Skywalker taught you otherwise.”

“I am no Jedi,” you claimed as your eyes met sharply wish his once more. “not anymore.”

He shook his head and grabbed the lightsaber from your hand, gripping it tightly in a fist as if it had brought upon a horrid flashback. “and yet, you still have your lightsaber from training?” He inquired, an eyebrow raised. He looked down at it and moved it around, observing the exterior. “if you were not a Jedi, then you would have rid yourself of your weapon long ago.”

You scoffed at his comment. “That’s because it wasn’t until recently that I was turned against that path,” you furrowed your eyebrows for a moment. “after what happened. After what he’s done!” You barked out. Kylo looked at you for a moment of confusion, and let his force grip on you loses to release you.

“So, then he has done you wrong?”

“Yes.”

“What did he do this time?”

 _This time_. He words echoed in your thoughts as you tensed up, but it was from a natural reaction rather than the doing of the force. Before you had escaped from him and the First Order when they destroyed the new Jedi Academy, he had blamed Luke for making him like that, letting him become what he was. You never found out what it meant, even to this day, it would find its way back into your mind to send questions racing through your thoughts.

“I don’t have you tell you that,” you spat out in defiance. He ceased to flinch as he still held your saber. Your eyes followed his hand. “now give me back my lightsaber,” you reached out your hand but he pulled his away from you, shaking his head ever so slightly. “but I won’t hurt you,” you were rather surprised by your own words. He was the enemy, you were supposed to be willing to strike him down when you had the chance.

“I know you won’t. You still have your other weapon,” his eyes were locked on your second, twin saber, “it’s hard to believe that you’ve kept one, but both?” he pursed his lips for a moment. “that perplexes me more than you may come to realize.”

“As I said before, I haven’t exactly needed a reason to get myself a couple of new sabers,” you remarked with a hint of taunt in your tone. You really had no intent on attacking, so your hand never found itself trailing the side of your body for your hilt. “these have worked just fine for me the past ten years.”

“You know it not to be true” he insisted in a soothing tone as he let himself grow closer to you. Without reaction, you let him draw in on you. “they’re just a reminder to everything that’s happened to you after all these years,” you clenched down on your jaw but continued to listen to his words. “they bring back the haunting memories from training. All the conflict building up after the Order’s demise. The desire to let your emotions out on anything getting in your way.”

You closed your eyes in an attempt to deny it, so much did you want to say it to be wrong. But deep down, you knew it to be the harsh reality of things. “No, you’re wrong,” you tried telling him, masking the confliction in your tone even though it was evident that he’d be able to sense it, clear as the Naboo skies.

“Don’t lie to yourself,” Kylo brought his hand up to place it on your left shoulder, looking deeply into your eyes. “I know you have a deep desire to right the wrongs that he’s brought upon you. We can help you achieve such a thing,” he told you. “with you-” he took a brief pause. “we could finally bring an end to Skywalker,” slowly, he held his free hand up for you to take. “make him pay for everything he’s done to us.”

Shakily, your hand made its way up, your fingers hovering over his. “I don’t know if I can do that-”

“I can teach you things that he never did,” he offered. “you can finally continue your training to be able to take him out. Together, we can do so much in the galaxy. You just have to accept my offer, (Y/N),” his eyes glanced down at you with desperation, as if he longed for you to join him. So much did he want you to take his hand, to follow him back. He couldn’t deny that he missed your presence. You were the only thing from his past that he couldn’t seem to regret. You were the only thing he refused to burn from his memories.

You let your fingertips barely graze his gloved hand, the leather warm against your skin. “I-” you let out, your words wary. You smiled faintly at him until you felt a sharp pain race through your side. With a sudden gasp, your hand shot for the route of the burning sensation. Kylo pushed you back slightly and looked over your shoulder. You had been shot.

Within moments, his saber ignited, the cracking of the blade sharp in your ears. To partner it, he wielded your weapon and stepped in front of you. “don’t leave my side!” he told you as he stood against none other than those who had once been your allies. Your heart raced in your chest as your skin burned around the wound. Watching as Kylo dashed for the enemy, you stood with a heavy breath.

With only a few seconds of hesitation, you ran in the opposite direction. Your heart sank in the middle of your chest with the echoing noise of blaster fire around you. Taking out your weapon, you deflected multiple shots and took out most that stood in your way.

Soon, you made it to the ship. It was a small vessel, but it would prove to be sufficient enough, considering your circumstances. You slid into the cockpit and started up the ship, feeling it shaking as it lifted from the ground. Breaking through the trees above, your eyes focus on the sky above. As you exited orbit, your eyes widened as you saw a fleet of First Order Star Destroyers. You should have suspected much, seeing the attack on the Resistance base.

Your muscles tensed as you held your wound, hurrying to compose yourself and make an escape from them. You had been waiting for an attack by them, but within time, you realized that they were holding backfire. You furrowed your eyebrows but took the opportunity at hand, picking up speed as you went past them. You didn’t dare question the absence of an attack, because you were still alive. That’s all that mattered to you at the moment.

When you were in the clear of them, you jumped to lightspeed. You didn’t care about the destination, you just had to get out of there. As the familiar scenery just outside the cockpit window appeared, you let out a sigh. Instantaneously, your attention drew back to your wound. With the sudden adrenaline of your escape, your mind had drifted off from your pain.

It all came crashing back to you, getting a groan out of you. You found the small medbay on board and gathered some materials to fix yourself up with. You sat in front of a mirror and pulled your cowl over your head, lifting up your undershirt to reveal your blaster wound. The skin around it had redded and blood was seeping from the hole. Taking a damp cloth, you carefully cleaned the wound.

You sighed and grabbed your bacta spray, putting on a coat over the wound, wincing at the contact. After a few moments, you felt it soothing your pain, and the burning sensation slowly seemed to cool. As you let it settle in, you split open a bacta patch container. Your head bobbed back into the wall behind you, giving you the first moment of rest you could get.

Your mind raced back to what had happened just before you made your escape. The look on Kylo’s face - his eyes - never left your thoughts. They burned into the back of your mind, refusing to let you forget it. To forget him.  _Aren’t you scared of me?_  His words from years in the past came back to question.

_Why would I be?_


	4. Justice and Woe To Me

No matter how much you tried to force the stirring emotions and thoughts to the back of your head, your mind wouldn’t let you. Everything that happened in such a short span of time came crashing back to you, holding onto you as if it never wanted to let go. You could feel it all looming over you, the darkness slowing pulling at you, trying to crack the wall you had built up around your mind. It worked as you questioned everything that you knew.

Your eyes were fixated on the lightsaber you gripped down on, the metal hilt warm against your bare skin. Kylo’s words stuck with you, how he questioned why you still had them. They had become a part of you, an aid in the battle to protect yourself and others with. But over the years, they had come to be reminders of things you wanted to keep locked in the deepest depths of your mind.

Only now had you finally accepted it, that the very crystal that resisted inside had no meaning to you. You had lost your connection to it as time went on, you could even feel the crumbling bond. You clenched your jaw as you focused your energy on the Kyber Crystal, tightening your eyes shut in despisement.

What were you supposed to do? You could not simply dispose of your weapon. No, it still was a part of you and your power. As you meditated through your anger and hatred, the darkness loomed around you further, being the closest it had been in ages.  _Embrace your hatred, child._ A disembodied, hoarse voice spoke to you in a whisper. Your eyes shot open as you looked around.  _Don’t deny the truth that you hold such potential, my blood._

For a moment you thought you were going crazy, but who were you to speculate on the things you knew of the force?  _I can sense your confliction, your broken connection. It told you. You coincide with your Crystal no longer,_ and so it weakness you. That can be no more. You felt as if a grip tightened around you. It was more so one to lure you in, to take you by the hand than to overtake you. As if it wanted to guide you.

“What do you want?” You breathed out to the unknown force.  _It’s time that it becomes a part of you and you a part of it_. The voice told you. To control it. You froze as your eyes stared down at the ground and hands gripped the sides of your head. “what do you mean?” You couldn’t figure out where it was all coming from.

 _The crystal cannot withstand the darkness within you, you hold too much power for it. You must bend it to your will, to make it accept the darkness._  It was as if a pair of deep eyes were piercing into your own, but still, it was merely you sitting there.  _Make. It. Bleed_.

As you listened, your head shot up in realization. To make a Kyber Crystal bleed, an ancient Sith practice that you had heard about from Luke when you were still under his wing. You never quite understood the process, as you hadn’t intended on it. “Why are you telling me this?” You begged the voice to tell you, rubbing your hands together in a fist.

 **When a crystal is unbalanced with its owner, the light against the dark, it is prone to crack. No matter how powerful the crystal, it shall only merge with one if corrupted like them**. You pursed your lips together as you took in everything that he was telling you _. You must purge the flicker of light in it with your anger, hatred, and pain. Make it one with your force._

The corners of your mouth twitched as you shifted where you sat, looking up as if you expected to see someone standing before you. You could feel their presence, in the force around you, in your mind and thoughts. But you did not unwelcome it. The aura gave you a sensation of contentment, as if it was pulling you into the land of the unknown or trying to guide you to something greater.

Part of you couldn’t push the power away, it wanted to listen to the voice as it spoke to you. The grip around your saber tightened once more, biting down on your lower lip. “Then my worries are not wrong,” you muttered to yourself under your breath. You could feel the connection between you and the very Kyber Crystal that pulled you in years before had been deteriorating. It wasn’t because of a shift in the force, a change. No.

It was a change in you.

The darkness would not let go of its grasp around you, and you weren’t sure you wanted it to. The moment you attacked Luke, your old master, it had finally broken from the barrier around your mind and heart to seep into your inner thoughts and emotions. All it took was the trigger of the blaster to set you off, and here you were, accepting what you could not deny.

“And so, I make you bleed,” you spoke, almost as if it were directed towards the crystal itself. As you stood from the foot of the bed, you walked to the center of the room, kneeling down to the cold floor below. You placed your lightsaber in front of you, closing your eyes to focus your energy on the weapon.

Hands focused around the hilt, your force energy engulfed it as you began to deconstruct it. The pieces carefully disconnected from one another as they floated around you, placing neatly on the ground once more.

Your blue Kyber Crystal stayed by you as you extended your hands out to it, letting it float into your balled palm. You sighed and opened them again, allowing it to float up once more.  _If I am to embrace the darkness, then you shall bathe with me._  You said in your mind, as if to the crystal.

You could feel the force as it flowed between you and the crystal, almost connecting you to it. It was as if the darkness knew you were calling for it. Your emotions stirred within you as you allowed your mind to be consumed with the building disdain and rage, tightening your hands into fists.

Never before had you felt so tense, like a hand gripping down on your chest. Your furrowed your eyebrows as you fought against it until you could feel your emotions deepening into your aura. It conflicted with the crystal, but you kept your hold on it and refused to let go.

 ** _Grief_**. You had mourned the loss of those you had once called friends during the raid, the slaughter of all the eager padawans who trained beside you. It still haunted you to this day, it was something that was forever etched into the back of your mind, to forever remind you of all that had happened.

 ** _Abandonment_**. You had yet to forgive Luke for leaving you after the downfall of the new Jedi Order. He shouldn’t have abandoned you as if he had already lost everything. He had, and he should have protected you as if you had been all he had. Because you were all that was left. And yet, you were thrown away as if you didn’t matter, that you had failed him just as much as his turned students did. The Knights Of Ren and Kylo.

 ** _Betrayal_**. The grudge you had formed against Luke was all because of the sensation of betrayal that it had left with you. He should have been there for you, and not leave you with the resistance. It was like a stab in the heart to know that he had no faith in you. If he had seen value in you, he would have fine back. Not suppress himself into a long exile to never be heard from in years.

 ** _Disdain_**. For your master. The one you looked up to for guidance for years had left you, and it had rid you of any respect you had left for him. When it was just you and him, you had hoped he would be there for you and protect the last of what he had built. But no. You split and gained a loss of respect for him. He did not deserve it, not after the pain he put you through when he should have kept you close.

 ** _Loneliness_**. The sense of abandonment and years with the resistance lad left you and a place of confusion. You did not know who you could trust anymore, as the ability had been diminished the moment the Order had crumbled. You didn’t know who was really your friend, so you cut yourself off from many connections, only allowing for Leia - mother of your dear childhood friend - to be close to you. She had been the only thing close to your old Ben. The only thing to remind you of everything you loved. And even then, it was never enough.

 ** _Hatred_**. The strengthened spark of resentment for him, Luke. The moment he refused to train you once more, the moment he demanded you off of his island. And the unexplainable pleasure you took in attacking the man. It had been the first time you had used the force in anger, at least on another living creature.

 ** _Longing_**. The feeling in the middle of your chest the moment you saw Kylo in the Woods. You felt the instant connection to him as if it had begun to repair itself after the damage that had been done to it. And your longing to see him once more. To be near him. To hold him in your arms. To have him with you.

 ** _Frustration_**. What came with the stirring emotions. You couldn’t quite understand how to handle it all, what to think of it. Never before had you embraced it at once, willingly let the darkness seep into your mind.

 ** _Anger_**. The final step towards the dark, the last spark needed to ignite the fire that was bound to burn everything to ashes. Everything that you had known came to bite you, to taint your mind and everything you had once believed. It was all a lie or failed you.

As the Kyber Crystal made one last attempt to shut you out, hot tears streamed down your cheeks and your muscles tensed up. It was as if a fire burst through your veins, an unbearable pain taking over you. You let out a scream as you reached out for something unknown, falling forward. In a failed attempt you stand, you felt your vision blurring until you crashed to the ground, being consumed in darkness.


	5. Solemn Dreams

The void around you was so dark, illuminated by what appeared to be a faint moonlight. It was like there were tangible hands that could reach out for you, a grip so cold that it sent a nasty chill down your spine, though there was nothing there. And you couldn’t help but feel as is someone had been watching you from past the treeline you instantly recognized from D’Qar. “Who’s there?” you called out, knowing without a doubt in your mind that a mysterious entity was close by. “I can feel your presence!” you claimed, keeping your guard up in the case that they grew hostile towards you. “there’s no need to hide.”

They were getting close as you cautiously neared the trees, needing to seek out this being. You wanted to call for them once more, but they must have remained silent for a reason. Even though there was a possibility of them attacking, you could not seem to sense any aggression within them, their demeanor felt more serene. You soon reached the edge of the forest and the light seemed to follow you every step of the way, allowing you to see a good distance around you in each direction. “It is quite pleasing to see that you have accepted my guidance, young one,” you heard the same voice from before speak from behind you.

You gasp in startle for a moment before looking over your shoulder to see a cloaked figure. You observed him closely, there was not much to be said about him as he had been mostly covered by the cloak, however, one distinguishing thing had been that smile across the man’s features. It had almost been prideful in how you acted. “I want to know who you are,” you told him. You had felt a pull to him as if you already had a connection to him. If you could recall, he had spoken of his blood. Had you really been related to him in some way?

He let out a small chuckle, though it did not seem to be from mere amusement, perhaps with a small hint of interest in you. “You are of my blood, child. I was the most powerful Sith of my time, no one matched my power, and now you are here to carry on the name,” he explained as he slowly circled around to stand in front of you, your eyes following his movements. You raised an eyebrow at his words, not exactly satisfied with his explanation.

“You didn’t exactly answer my question,” you insisted as you reached to your side for your weapon in case anything went askew. You pursed your lips as you ceased to find it at your hip, receiving yet another small laugh from him. “who were you? I never even knew that I was even related to a Sith Lord,” you added, to be interrupted when he held his hand up with a nod.

“Oh, no. I was not a mere Lord, for I held title of Darth Sidious when I was still living,” he explained as his tilted his head up slightly, revealing a set of pale yellow eyes that seemed to have a glow to them. “and you, young one, are my grandchild,” Your own eyes widened a bit at his words. You had heard of him before from Luke back in your training when he had told you stories of his journey to become a Jedi. It all made sense now, your old master had killed your grandfather and knew of your blood.

“That kriffing bantha fodder,” you came to mutter under your breath, tightening your fists at your sides. After all those years, Luke couldn’t even tell you the truth of your bloodline, how you had always had a strong connection to the force. Kylo had been the grandchild of Darth Vader, and he even hid that from him. Who knew what else there was that he had hidden from you? After your eyes had been fixated on your feet, they looked up again to your grandfather. “the one thing that I do not understand is why you wait until now to reveal yourself.”

“That is because I have not believed that it was time until now,” he stated as he walked closer so that he could observe you closer. “I can feel the anger within you, it is much the same as mine, if not stronger. We share the same disdain for your old master, and I only wish to guide you to finally bring an end to that wretched man,” he went silent for a moment as if he was taking the opportunity to really take in your inner thoughts and emotions. “Learn to embrace the dark natures of the force, and you shall achieve greatness over your master.”

You weren’t entirely sure what to say, knowing that there would still be a flicker of light within you. Yet, you could not help but feel a pull to the dark side, all of the power that it could offer you. “I want to… but I don’t think that I can. I am not strong enough.”

He simply shook his head, knowing that it was, in fact, the opposite. “He feared that your power would be too strong to control, he could sense the conflict within you upon Ahch-to. Skywalker knew that he could never teach you how to take control over them, as he was too afraid to tell you the truth,” his words had such truth to them, especially after the events that had gone down in not even a day’s time. “his arrogance blinds him. With enough willpower, you can strike him down once and for all.”

You ceased to speak as you saw him hold out a saber to you, one that had a rather familiar - yet slightly different - presence to it. You hesitated, but let yourself take it to him. You recognized the aura of the crystal to be that of your own, but it had changed. “I want him to pay for everything that he has done. He left in shame after what happened ten years ago.  He abandoned his only student left that looked up to him. He tried to kill his own nephew… and look at where that ended up Ben… I won’t let him live for that. I will end him…”

You took a closer look at the weapon, it had been quite similar to your old one, but the hilt had been of a longer size. It had to have been what you believed it to be; a saber staff. You ignited the weapon for two twin crimson blades to emerge from both sides. A result from making it bleed. “All you have to do is to know the true power of the dark side, to finally embrace what your bloodline has before you,” he breathed out to you as you watched him back away, going even deeper into the forest. “only then will you succeed.”

You froze for a moment, unable to follow until your legs finally gave to let you go after Palpatine. There was so much that you wanted to say, to ask, but your mind kept you from speaking out. It was as if something was keeping you from doing so. You could still feel him in the atmosphere surrounding you, yet you could not seem to find him again.

“You must learn to harness your emotions to feel your power, by facing your fears can you so,” he explained from beyond the trees. You stopped in your tracks as you felt another familiar presence around. You furrowed your eyebrows as you could feel him behind you. Igniting your new saber, the crimson color illuminating the night driven darkness, you turned to face the man. “strike Skywalker down! Embrace the power of the dark side!”

Luke stood before you, his blue eyes sharp on you with the same look in them as before. You could sense the pain within him, the guilt. But at this point you were not willing to accept any apology from him, you were beyond that. “Don’t do this (Y/N),” he begged you. “I know that there is still light in you, you can still resist the power of the dark side.”

**_Peace is a lie, there is only passion_ **

You scoffed at his claims, already feeling the anger within your veins. “There’s no going back from all of the things that you did to me, Master. Not only did you fail me, you failed Ben all those years ago. It’s one thing to do that to me, but I’ll never forgive you for hurting him!” you barked out and made a run for him, Luke igniting his green saber to block your attack. “why did you never tell me about my bloodline!” you demanded to know.

He managed to push you back with the force, but you were able to quickly stand to your face, dodging his attempt to swipe his blade at you. “Because I was afraid of what would happen if you knew of your Sith ancestor. Look at where it led Ben knowing of his grandfather,” he told you, almost calm enough for it to not even have been said in the middle of battle.

_**Through passion, I gain strength.** _

“Coward!” you found it shameful for him to even claim such a thing. Wasn’t it the Jedi way to conquer their fears? If he really was that afraid, it only proves that he did not believe that you would be strong enough to resist the pull. “you should have known that there was hope for him, you were the one to turn your father! This all could have have been prevented had you believed in your own nephew.”

‘There is not a day that goes by that I don’t regret the things that I did. I would take it all back, considering killing Ben. Abandoning you to exile myself on Ahch-to. I’m sorry that I failed you!”

“We are passed apologies! I’ve finally seen the truth, I now know the true powers of the force,” you stated as you circled around the older man, gripping tighter onto your silver hilt. “the Jedi fail to realize that they should embrace their emotions, not suppress them. Limiting them just takes away what it means to be human. We can not simply set aside our passions, our desires.”

**_Through strength, I gain power._ **

“The Jedi never denied their emotions (Y/N), we have always learned to control them!”

“And look at where that’s gotten them, they were nearly all wiped out in a matter of days. I’ve never felt more in tune with the force until now that I’ve felt the power of the dark side. But I don’t care about that, all that matters now is that I get to kill  _you_ ,” you raised your finger up to point at him. You couldn’t even begin to describe how much have you had towards him. Most would believe that it would be for the pain that he causes you, but no. It mostly stemmed from what he did to Ben….Kylo all those years ago.

You could never understand how he would be so tranquil in a fight. You twisted your hand into a fist to catch him in a rather harsh choke hold, seeing the shock in his face is the oxygen was slowly stripped from his lungs. You could sense the pain within him, it was the same as before, though it was almost as if he was willing to give himself up to satisfy your rage. “Go ahead… Kill me… It will solve nothing…”

“I’m sick and tired of your lies, master. I won’t take it any longer,” you breathed out to him as your (E/C) eyes gazed into his own, not holding back radiating the hatred off of your aura. With his neck wrapped with your hand, you strengthen your grip around it. “I’m not just doing this for me, but I’m doing it for him too. I’m going to Kylo, I will help him and the broken pieces that you’ve left behind.”

**_Through power, I gain victory._ **

“Then so be it, but know that I will become one with the force…” he made sure to tell you as you felt a surge of unfamiliar power forming in your hand. Furrowing your eyebrows once more, you could see a small smark of illuminated your hand as you let a surge of lightning overtake your master. You could feel his body reacting to the shock, with the smell of burning flesh. Never before did you think you would ever wield a signature power of the Sith; Force Lightning.

You let his body fall to the ground as you could sense that his force energy had slipped from his body, glancing down at his lifeless body. After a few moments, your gaze came up as you could hear your grandfather laughing. “Good… good!” he finally revealed himself once more, gesturing down to Luke’s body. You remained still as you watched his body disappear into thin air. “though he may be only a mere figment of your mind, now you have a taste of the satisfaction of killing him. This proves that you will not hesitate upon facing him for yourself. With your newfound power and true acceptance of the dark side, thinking will stand in your way.”

**_Through victory, my chains are broken._ **

“I will not fail. I have to defeat him, and I will ensure his defeat, grandfather. I promise you that,” you would not be doing it to fully release yourself to the dark side or to embrace your bloodline. No, it was for revenge, for you and for Kylo.  “with your words to guide me, I will succeed,” all that was left now was to seek out Kylo, then you could face the man that had forsaken you both together. As he had once said, let the past die. So, you would kill it together.

“Now go, my child. Fulfill… your… destiny…” he spoke out one last time before he waved his hand out to throw you into the darkness once more.

_**The Force shall free me.** _


	6. Libertarianism

The force was still stirring within you as it tried to wake you up. Your eyes shot open and you jolted up, feeling a cold metal around your wrists. You glanced down to see that you had been restrained, just now realizing that you weren’t back in the quarters of your ship, but rather in what appeared to be a medical bay. It was far more advanced than the one back on the other ship, but it did not appear to be that of a ship such as a flagship of sorts. It could probably only comfortable house three people for treatment.

You jumped a bit in your bed as your eyes fell onto a red skinned Devaronian. “Ah, I see that you’re finally awake. It’s about time, we found you on your ship unconscious,” he brought up. The man had been sitting across from you on the opposite metal bed - you didn’t understand why it was the standard not to have any proper bedding in a medical setting such as this. “what a sight, things were everywhere! You have to tell me, what did you even do to that room?”

You pursed your lips together as to who this man was and why he was rather enthusiastic about talking with you. He was even leaning forward with his elbows resting upon his knees, a small glimmer of curiosity in his dark orbs. “Umm… you expect me to tell you when I’m being held prisoner?” you demanded to know, trying not to come off as annoyed as you were.

He couldn’t help but scoff a tad bit in amusement. “Oh, you aren’t our prisoner, but we had to restrain you for safety measures. You should understand,” he brought up, leaning back again and stretching his arms over his head. “if you want, I can take them off for you as long as you promise not to hurt me.”

You glared at him to try to contemplate the situation you were in. “Who even are you?”

A small smirk formed across his features. “Now there’s a real story. I may or may not be a friend of a certain man whom you possibly could know,” it was evident that he had to be teasing you, but you immediately knew what he was talking about.

“A Knight of Ren?”

“Precisely!” He expressed, pointing his finger at you. “Volgoth Ren, at your service. As I told you, having you restrained is for safety measures. As long as you won’t try anything, I’m more than willing to take your restraints off, seeing as how the Supreme Leader doesn’t even want us to consider you a prisoner. He actually wants to see to it that you are brought before him.”

Your eyes went wide a little as he had mentioned the Supreme Leader, Snoke himself. Of course, he had grown an interest in you, considering the shift in the force that he must have felt and the report he had received form Kylo. For sure, it would play to your favor. “I won’t attack you, I promise you that.”

“Alright, then let me just come over there,” he stood up to make his way over to you, using the force to unlock the restraints around your wrists. You gave him a look, getting a small laugh from the man. “oh, you could have taken it off on your own. I just didn’t think you would realize that.”

“Are you really a Knight of Ren?” you had to know, there was no way in the galaxy that he could be so carefree. “or do you really just think that I am that stupid?”

“I mean, considering that we found you with things everywhere and injured with a poor patch job, one could argue that you are.”

“Volgoth, stop screwing with the force sensitive,” The force shifted around you once more as Volgoth shifted his head towards the door, for a man to reveal himself. He was rather tall, probably closer to Kylo’s height. “I must apologize for him, he gets like this with a lot of our prisoners.”

“Didn’t you tell me I wasn’t a prisoner?” You gave the Devaronian yet another look.

“But you aren’t one! Geez, I thought that I made that clear!”

The stranger pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, shaking his head before looking back over to the both of you. “Don’t worry, you are not a prisoner. It was never intended for you to be unless you defied our generosity or efforts to help you. We did everything we could with our resources to heal up your blaster wound, you should be fine. I can not guarantee that there will be minimum scarring, but it should heal up in the end.

You glanced down your waist to now realize you had been in a change of shirt, it hadn’t been bloodied or burned from the blaster bold. “I… don’t know what to say. Thank you,” your mind still seemed to be processing it all, and the fact that they had been treating you more like a guest than a prisoner, which is what led you to believe their claims. You lifted up your shirt to get a better look at the wound, it seemed to have been properly dressed with some bandages and bacta patches. Plus, it didn’t hurt much, more of an uncomfortable sensation rather than a painful one.

If they were lying about you not being a prisoner, then there really would have been no justified reason for them to tend to your wound - but you could now sense that they were nothing but truthful towards you. It had come to your full realization that you had been sought out specifically for the purpose of bringing you before Snoke. It was rather convenient all for the fact that it meant you wouldn’t have to seek the First Order out yourself; and even risk getting hurt trying to present yourself to them, a known Resistance member.

_Ex Resistance member now._

As you let out a soft sigh, your eyes shifted to the man.”Um, I never got your name…” you mentioned. If you were going to be their guest, you might as well learn of their names.

“Ah, yes. Dralin, Dralin Ren,” he had told you, giving you the impression now that the Knights had actually used the name Ren as a title. It was both in their organization’s name as well as used by three of them thus far. As you thought for a moment, you couldn’t help but contemplate if you had heard that name before. “is something wrong?”  You pursed your lips together as you tried to piece it together, studying his features. But then it hit you

“You were at the temple, you were a Jedi before,” you recognized him from your days at the Jedi Temple when you were still learning under Master Luke. He had been one of the more advanced students, but you never really interacted with him much; you didn’t actually with many that weren’t Ben or your Master. “a fellow padawan.”

He let out a small chuckle. “I am indeed, and Volgoth is as well. All of us Knights derived from the Temple with Kylo. We stood by his side with the same ideology that Skywalker was in the wrong,” he began to explain. “we always knew that there was something wrong with him, and it was just confirmed when he tried to end his own nephew. We stood beside him and Master Snoke opened his door to us, seeing as how we had nowhere to go and a sudden loss of real purpose. Hence, we could not refuse the knowledge of power.”

It had never actually occurred to you that there had been others that had followed behind Kylo when he left the Temple in ruins. You could remember the night as if it hadn’t happened long ago, approximately ten years at this point. He had held his hand out to you and begged you to follow behind him, but as you were still questioning your own morals, you refused.

As he couldn’t come to kill you as Snoke would have commanded, he told you to leave. No matter how much you pleaded him to come with you and forget about everything - to just travel the galaxy with you - he couldn’t. You made your escape as he had left for the First Order, and that had been the last you had seen of him up close until today with your encounter with him on D’Qar.

“And about how many of you are there?”

“Including Kylo, eight of us in total,” Volgoth added to the conversation. “a real mixed bunch we have. But that’s what I love about our group. Never a dull moment,” he smirked at the idea.

“Mixed?”

“Yeah, we all have such different personalities, but we somehow manage to work so well together. It’s a kriffing miracle but we happen to make it work. You better hope that you don’t run into Orus anytime soon, she’s the one that can send a chill down your spine,” he jokingly shivered at the thought. “she has a glare so powerful that it could probably kill you if she holds it for too long.”

“Well… that’s pleasant.”

“Now, come on Volgoth. You make her out to be some Nexu. She’s only cold if she has to be,” Dralin tried.

“Oh, no. I have to beg to differ. Have you ever heard how sarcastically bitchy she can be? It’s so dark, it’s like the corners of space without any stars!” Volgoth expressed.

Dralin smacked the Devaronian across the back of his head to shut him up. “Why don’t we talk about something else?” he insisted, turning his full attention back to you. “I don’t think that I even need to guess that you have a lot of questions for us about this all. So go ahead and ask us, I will try to answer anything that I possibly can.”

“Why?” you didn’t even need to take a second to think about what you wanted to know, the question was already programmed in your mind. “I want to know why you were ordered to capture me and why you’re bringing me before Snoke.”

They weren’t surprised that you had asked such things. “As far as we were briefed, a report given by Kylo had given him reason to request you be tracked down. Our Star Destroyers had already put a tracker on your shuttle, so it was not very hard to find your location.”

“My guess is that he wants you as an ally, knowing that you now hate Skywalker as much as he does,” Volgoth told you. “what did he even do to piss you off so much?”

You clenched your fist as you were brought back to the memory back from Ahch-to, how he had pushed you away once again. “I still can’t understand why he would refuse to take me back. He abandoned me in self-shame and even after ten years, he can’t face me again. He lied to me all this time, apparently, I come from the Blood of the Sith just like Kylo does.”

“Then, he was foolish to become so frightened of you. The Jedi were always so blinded against power, and look at where that landed him,” Dralin admitted. He wasn’t wrong, Luke made a mistake both when he tried to off his own nephew and when he turned his back on you once more. The Knight before you had no idea the true extent of the pain and stirring emotions that your old Master had caused you.

And it was your driving force.

“All I want is for him to pay for all of it, to know the pain that he caused me and Kylo. I won’t let him live for it.”

“We can most certainly make that happen for you,” Volgoth practically interrupted Dralin.

“I know where he is, I want to give that information to Snoke. He has to die.”


	7. Solemn Awakening

You had heard of the Supremacy and how massive of a ship it was, but you never would have guessed that it was practically a moving base. It was rather impressive, as it would be so hard to track down since once the Order’s enemies caught wind of it, the ship could move to the complete opposite side of the galaxy.

Volgoth and Dralin walked on either side of you, guiding you to the throne room as they had told you; Snoke had ordered them to bring you right to him once you had boarded the Supremacy. The atmosphere in the Supremacy had been nothing you had ever sensed before. It was so void, almost absent of much life in the force. At least, on the light side. It was so cold, very much like what you had experienced on your own personal shuttle when you tried to connect to the dark side of the Force.

 _It was exactly like that_.

“Do you have any… warnings for me? As far as I know, he’s not a man that can be pleased very easily,” you spoke up in an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence that had broken between the three of you. You were certain that they were not mere rumors that had been spread about Snoke, and that he was indeed a hard man to please and satisfy. That was what was overwhelming the most, anyone could agree to that.

“I am unsure what to tell you exactly to serve as a warning, but what I  _can_ and  _will_  say is that you are starting off on a clean slate.  You have not done anything to anger Snoke, so as long as you continue to do so, things will turn out just fine for you,” Dralin explained to assure you. Despite the fact that he was a Knight of Ren, he did have some mind for you. From his standpoint, if you complied, you would become a fellow Knight.

As a group, they were close to one another, despite the fact that their ideologies could conflict with one another. They were so different that they miraculously could make it work. Granted, Orus at times may come very close to lopping Volgoth off with his own saber, but they did all had immense concern for everyone. Some may see their allegiance to Snoke, when in fact the group came first, especially Kylo when you knew that he was what you may call the Master.

“Dralin is right,” Volgoth brought up. “we’ve served under him for years, and we all still have our limbs and heads attached - for the most part. Don’t sweat it! It’s about time someone new joined, it’ll help to stir up the pot a little. We’ll all have your backs, so you don’t need to worry,” he tried to assure you. Once you were deemed a Knight of Ren, if things went smoothly, each knight would most definitely treat you with respect. Some more than others, but they would all respect you as a peer.

After a few minutes, you finally arrived at an elevator, a chill running down your spine for some reason. “Please, do not overthink your first interaction with the Supreme Leader. As long as you stay calm and kneel before him when you enter, things will be alright,” as the door opened, he reached in to press a button to get you up to the throne room. “now go and stay focused,” he assured you one last time. You stepped into the elevator and turned to face them, the crimson Devaronian offering a smirk of confidence to you. Before you knew it, the doors closed and you were off.

Pursing your lips together, you managed to compose yourself, not wanting to approach Snoke for the first time with a whole batch of emotions stirring within you. It wasn’t that you necessarily had to give off a gratifying first impression, but it was still important that you didn’t appear to be too conflicted. No, you needed to show him that you would listen to what he asked of you. This was your one chance to reunite with Kylo, and you didn’t intend on messing that up.

You were snapped from your thoughts when the door to the elevator opened once more, revealing the throne room to you. It was rather commanding, the red surrounding Snoke as he sat in his throne, red-clad Praetorian Guards all around him for his disposal. “Mmm, it is about time you came before me, young (Y/L/N),” Snoke leaned forward as his icy blue eyes were locked on you. “I hope that my Knights have treated you well.”

Stopping before him, you knelt down just as Dralin had advised you to only minutes prior. “I’ve only met Volgoth and Dralin so far, but they did,” you openly confessed to the deformed man. Despite the fact that the interaction between you and the pair had been a tad bit odd, it was not appalling in the slightest. “I have yet to meet the others.”

“Good, good,” he spoke once more, a chilling smirk painting his pale features. “now, tell me why you had a change of heart. You were once a prized pupil of Skywalker, and now you want to end him much like us. What was it that pulled you to the dark side, child?” he could feel the influence that the dark side of the Force was having on you, with the stirring emotions within. It was much like that of Kylo but with a raw source of power;  an untapped strength that had yet to be utilized.

“My Master, he…” you started to explain but hesitated for a moment. “he betrayed me. He abandoned me years ago and when we found him, he refused to train me,” it still bewildered - and even insulted - you that he turned you down, the last apprentice he even had from the temple. If he really cared, then he would have done what he could to have protected you. He had put far more faith in a girl he had never even met before than one of his prior, prized pupils.

You were always on the top of the class, no one could doubt that. With your burning passion and remarkable skills using both the force and your lightsaber, not many dared to question your abilities. You never denied yourself the freedom to embrace your emotions, as they helped to fuel your power. In Jedi training, you were told that emotions could lead to the dark side, thus leaving the assumption that they were not to be utilized.

“He never even told me that I’m related to the Emperor of the Galactic Empire, it just goes to show he couldn’t trust me,” you clenched your fist a bit as your mind came back to remember the moment you found out about the truth, the betrayal that washed over you. How could Luke lie to you? Everything about him perplexed you, all from the start with Kylo, all the way to his refusal to take you back under his wing.

Snoke stood up from the throne to slowly approach you, the ends of his golden robe flowing with his movement. He towered over you, as he was seven feet tall compared to someone of a shorter stature such as yourself. His aura radiated off of you, a dark and authoritative energy strong all around. “Ah, so my assumptions were correct; your Force energy is much like Darth Sidious that it is quite recognizable,” he had brought to your attention. You raised an eyebrow, wondering if your aura was truly similar to your grandfather’s. “there so much untapped potential that Skywalker only pushed back; it was a grave mistake of him. He appeared to merely be frightened by your power, for he could not handle the power that you hold within you. But I? I can train you to harness this power that is trapped within you, for you are capable of so much more, (Y/N).

I can show you the ways of the force far beyond what you could have ever imagined.  You do not have to feel lost in your ways any longer, as I can give you meaning once more. All you must do is pledge your loyalty to me and the Force Order; then all of this can be yours,” Snoke had been set on pulling you into his ranks to serve as his newest Apprentice, wanting to utilize powers that could potentially even surpass that of Kylo’s. He was well aware of your existence and that Kylo had let you escape all those years ago, but ceased to have the Knights hunt you down and end your life. No, he wanted you alive with the realization who your force ancestor had been. “now… do you accept my offer to you?”

No matter what you said, things would change for you, as there was no going back to what you once knew. If Luke had refused to train you then, there were no hopes of him taking you back now. As for the Resistance, with what you had done just before you fleed would certainly put a bad reputation on your back, perhaps even a bounty or two. It was almost as if things were repeating for you as things had occurred with Kylo; yet more to connect the two of you together. Your mind came to remember that he was the primary reason why you had desired to come here to the First Order in the first place.

“I will submit myself to your teachings, to the Knights of Ren, and to the First Order,” you breathed out to him, adjusting your forearm as it had rested on your risen knee. “not only that, but I can provide you with the location to him, the girl as well,” you had mentioned as well, wanting to be given the chance to overpower the man you had once called Master. Now that you would have their backing, there was no reason why you could not fulfill the inordinate desire. “They are on Ahch-To… at the first Jedi Temple.”

“Now… rise…” With his aura still pulling at that of your own, you could sense a source of pride within him, almost as if he had been planning this very moment for so long before. Without hesitation, you did as he commanded, eyes coming up to meet with him as he had stood mere feet away from you. His icy blue eyes met with your (E/C) ones, ceasing to break the connection. “you will join the ranks of the Knights of Ren as my new apprentice and fight alongside your fellow Knights, do as I say and only answer to me,” he explained. “very soon shall we go to him and crush him, in a days time.”

“I will make sure that I don’t disappoint you, Master,” you had breathed out to him in assurance.

“I do not doubt that you will, I will soon forge you into a far more powerful fighter than even Darth Sidious could have ever aspired to be,” Snoke smirked down to you in satisfaction. “as for now… I have ordered Ren to get you situated here on the Supremacy. Prepare yourself for tomorrow; we shall finally put an end to Skywalker once and for all.”

You straighten your posture as he had mentioned that Kylo would be the one guiding you through the Supremacy to get used to being on a new ship with a new purpose. You bowed your head in respect for the man before you, not wanting to disappoint him.  “I will do as you say,” things were changing all so fast, your mind could barely keep up with it. Nonetheless, your heart raced in anticipation for the following day; you were finally going to take revenge.

“He should be awaiting your arrival in his quarters, from there he will show you to your own,” Snoke told you as he carefully made his way back to the throne - the pain with every step was excruciating but he managed to push past it, almost as if he thought very little of the sensation. You nodded, taking a step back before turning on your heel now that you were dismissed, surprised to see a Togruta awaiting in the elevator.

Pursing your lips, you approached and turned to the door once you were inside. Her skin contrasted much with her dark attire; it was a very pale, creamy yellow. Her white and pastel purple Lekku were dressed with a silver headpiece. A force energy radiated off of her, hinting that she had been yet another one of the Knights of Ren. It surprised you that she had such a calming energy to her, considering that she was a member of the First Order. “Dralin told me that you were finally here, so I thought that I would bring you to Kylo myself,” she spoke up just as the doors had closed. “I am Zira Ren, it is so great to finally meet you,” the Togruta offered you a smile.

You raised an eyebrow but met her with another smile. “Um, I’m (Y/N),” you replied, though she more than likely already know such a thing. “thank you so much, it’s great to meet another Knight,” she seemed very unique compared to Dralin and Volgoth, lining up with their claims that each of them was different.

“He also mentioned that you have a fresh wound, I could heal if you would like; I’m what you could call the Knights’ personal healer. I don’t fight as much as them, but I am quite skilled in healing abilities,” Zira explained to you as you could feel the elevator moving down to a lower level of the Supremacy. She focused much on meditation and healing with the force, which she would use very often on the Knights - such as with Kylo to help his wound heal faster after being sliced at by the scavenger. Because she hadn’t seen him in time, she wasn’t able to prevent it from scaring.

“Yeah… I was shot with a blaster when I was trying to escape from the resistance. I applied some bacta patches but that’s about it,” the wound still hurt a bit, but it was not as serious as it was before. Especially when it first happened. “that would be very much appreciated.”

“I will send you a personal message on your Datapad once you retrieve it, then you can tell me when you are free and I can come by any time. We will all be here to support your transition, believe it or not. We want to be welcoming to you, seeing as that you are our newest member,” even if they were all in the First Order and had different viewpoints, they still saw each other almost like family. “I am unsure when you will be able to meet the other three - Isa, Jerex, and Orus - but it will happen in due time.”

One beneficial thing that would come out of this shift in your life would be the fact that you would now have people around that understood you and your powers; you wouldn’t have to suppress them to any extent. And maybe, just maybe, there would be no reason to worry about anyone betraying your trust. “I will be looking to meeting them, then.”

The elevator slowly eased to a stop before the doors opened, Zira guiding you out into a long hallway. “This is the residential wing for High Command, only the highest ranked are housed here; including the Knights of Ren. Our personal chambers are far more satisfactory than the troopers or lower ranked officers,” it wasn’t too astonishing that the Order would have such a system in place, treating their higher-ups better than those lower in the command chain.

Not many people passed you and Zira as you walked side by side, focus directed towards the force around you; you could sense that Kylo was close by. “I will need to get used to being here, but I’ll probably not be… too hard?” you rubbed your chin as Zira had stopped at a single door, Kylo clearly on the other side. “thank you again, I will take you up on your offer to heal my wound later,” you mentioned, offering one last smile before the door hissed open to reveal Kylo.

He seemed almost hesitant at first like he had seen a ghost despite the fact you two already met once more that same day. The taller man pulled you into a warm embrace, holding onto you as if he were about to lose you once again. “I can’t believe you’re finally here…”


End file.
